ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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