i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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