Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Just high enough for therapy.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
