I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
