what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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