do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
