Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I AM VODKA MAN
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
