Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
