Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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