it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
You can't special order awesome
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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