We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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