My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
home. puking in laundry basket.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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