My hand turned me down
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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