if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
