just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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