i permit you to call me
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just found puke in my bra..
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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