i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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