drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
