what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Four minutes until I can fart!
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
