i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
