at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
