Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
