It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
