Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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