My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
