Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize