if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
