I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
