I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
