I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
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