I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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