my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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