why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
