ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm bleeding and have questions
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
