Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Blood and glitter go together right?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
