he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize