we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
