She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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