can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I take back everything I said about communal showers
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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