I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
