so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
