Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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