I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
