Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
