I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
