Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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