There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Acid is not a monday night drug
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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