I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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