is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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