UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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