I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
