News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
